So Trav and I had a GREAT feeling this month... But my period came two days early.. can she say SHOCKER.. not cause it was early but cause I was not PREGNANT again.
So my D&C was in December and since then we have not used any protection...so it will be 6 months in June (half a year that is)... By Feb. we were careless with timing and by March was "trying".. whatever the hell that means anymore...
Though April and May I didn't let it consume me...I had a much better head on my shoulders...
I don't think that I am infertile but I am not sure what more I can do... I know i know i know i know that God has his perfect timing and I want what is best for me.. I KNOW that he gives me only the best. I DESIRE that more than anything, his will. But this time around I'm having a hard time being OK with not knowing when that next baby will come....
I know that people have tried for a baby for over 6 months then got pregnant, but with me I feel that I got preg easy and got preg easy again, now i am not sure when it will come.... But again I trust and that is why i am reading through Job. God owes me NO explanation.. But I will be honest when its just him and I with a little heart to heart talk... I don't need answers..just Direction...
One thing that I know is that I wont walk around Bitter and Angry with a bad attitude cause Im not getting what I want. I have too many other wonderful things in life to be joyful about...I am not saying Im perfect but i know that just cause I am having a hard time does not make excuses for bad behavior... I am writing this so I can follow through with what i think,,,
5 comments:
I am so sorry Caylan, I know it is hard when you want something so bad. Here's praying for next month.
Dude its just like my beard will come on time !!!
RELAX and youll get pregnant soon :)
God knows what he is doing!
yeah, I hoped someone would get that hint hint and you probably know more than anyone else! I can't imagine how you are doing, I was devastated when i started I was in the dressing room at the mall and thought for sure I was pregnant, so Im sorry for the disapointment over again. I've found that when I finally let go and stop obsesing over something God usually steps right in! Heres hoping that will happen for the both of us this time! I do admire your strength though, you seem to have your heart in the right place regarding the baby thing! My prayers are for sure with you this next month!
Keep your chin up! God loves you and will bless you!
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